The Lakotah Indian Tribe has declared independence from the U.S.!
Wow! An Indian tribe escaped the reservation. Quick boys, get your Winchesters down. The army is going to need help keeping the savages from your daughter's bedroom door. In fact, if we march now, while it's cold we might find them hunkered down in their tepees. Then it's all "Gary Owen" and good dead Indians freezing in the snow.
Of course we've grown up more than that now haven't we? The Indians haven't actually left the reservation this time, they've up and declared independence. In fact, they may file liens against hundreds of thousands of acres across the Midwest. The Lakotah assert that the land was taken from them through broken treaties and land jumping by white settlers. Now that just can't be right, can it? America is perfect, is it not?
Go back and read the history of East Tennessee before you dismiss the Lakotah. How did our ancestors gain this lush country? Why are there so many funny sounding Indian names all about such as Hiwassee, Telaco, and even Ta-na-si? Does this mean the Cherokees will go next? Would they have a claim on most of Western North Carolina, East Tennessee, North Georgia, North Alabama, and Western South Carolina? Come on, they were traded fair and square: 100 million acres of their homeland for 33 million acres of Oklahoma. Where would you rather live: Knoxville or Oklahoma City? The Seminole are going to want the swamps of Florida back? Heck those pesky Nez Perce might want to go to Canada or something.
Seriously, will we call out the army on this, or just let them go? After all, they are our poorest, fattest, drunkest, and most depressed citizens. 85% of them are unemployed and living off government cheese and fry bread, aren't they?
Actually, they have a perfect model for economic success: Free Sin Zones. A place were Americans could gamble, smoke a joint, do a bump, or God knows what else. Vegas would be through and the Indians would be rich. It sounds crazy, but with no economy, why not become little Amsterdam's all across the land?
They have offered tax-free status to anyone willing to move to Lakotah lands and renounce their U.S. citizenship. I wonder how many rich Americans will soon be sporting Lakotah passports?
Or will we do as our South American allies have done to native movements. Will the Lakotahs become the next member of the family of nations, or will they be the next Zapitistas? Will cannon balls again fly across the land?
They have claimed their independence using Jeffersonian language and asserting the Natural Rights of a people to determine their own fate. Nothing could be more noble than that.
Notes:
I've used the spelling of Lakotah favored by the tribe.
Usatoday announcement:
http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline/2007/12/lakota-withdraw.html
The Lakotah Decleration:
http://www.commondreams.org/news2007/1220-02.htm?loc=interstitialskip
Wow! An Indian tribe escaped the reservation. Quick boys, get your Winchesters down. The army is going to need help keeping the savages from your daughter's bedroom door. In fact, if we march now, while it's cold we might find them hunkered down in their tepees. Then it's all "Gary Owen" and good dead Indians freezing in the snow.
Of course we've grown up more than that now haven't we? The Indians haven't actually left the reservation this time, they've up and declared independence. In fact, they may file liens against hundreds of thousands of acres across the Midwest. The Lakotah assert that the land was taken from them through broken treaties and land jumping by white settlers. Now that just can't be right, can it? America is perfect, is it not?
Go back and read the history of East Tennessee before you dismiss the Lakotah. How did our ancestors gain this lush country? Why are there so many funny sounding Indian names all about such as Hiwassee, Telaco, and even Ta-na-si? Does this mean the Cherokees will go next? Would they have a claim on most of Western North Carolina, East Tennessee, North Georgia, North Alabama, and Western South Carolina? Come on, they were traded fair and square: 100 million acres of their homeland for 33 million acres of Oklahoma. Where would you rather live: Knoxville or Oklahoma City? The Seminole are going to want the swamps of Florida back? Heck those pesky Nez Perce might want to go to Canada or something.
Seriously, will we call out the army on this, or just let them go? After all, they are our poorest, fattest, drunkest, and most depressed citizens. 85% of them are unemployed and living off government cheese and fry bread, aren't they?
Actually, they have a perfect model for economic success: Free Sin Zones. A place were Americans could gamble, smoke a joint, do a bump, or God knows what else. Vegas would be through and the Indians would be rich. It sounds crazy, but with no economy, why not become little Amsterdam's all across the land?
They have offered tax-free status to anyone willing to move to Lakotah lands and renounce their U.S. citizenship. I wonder how many rich Americans will soon be sporting Lakotah passports?
Or will we do as our South American allies have done to native movements. Will the Lakotahs become the next member of the family of nations, or will they be the next Zapitistas? Will cannon balls again fly across the land?
They have claimed their independence using Jeffersonian language and asserting the Natural Rights of a people to determine their own fate. Nothing could be more noble than that.
Notes:
I've used the spelling of Lakotah favored by the tribe.
Usatoday announcement:
http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline/2007/12/lakota-withdraw.html
The Lakotah Decleration:
http://www.commondreams.org/news2007/1220-02.htm?loc=interstitialskip
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